In light of new reporting that superstar singer Taylor Swift’s “Carbon Footprint” from private jet travel creates some 8,000 tons of CO2 (just one year of global touring), members of the Montgomery County Council are proposing a “Tay Tay” Carbon Tax. The tax “would ensure that whenever this extreme CO2 emitter crosses MoCo airspace in her private jet, her fair share is taxed, and then we’d use those proceeds to fight against climate change.” said councilmember (CM) Kristin Mink, a co-sponsor of the bill. “We know our department of environmental protection will use these tax proceeds wisely, such as in designing thousands more paper printed mailers to inform property owners that they can’t use gas-powered leaf blowers in July 2025,” added CM Mink.
CM Will Jawando agreed, noting that although he has space at his large, multi-acre residence in Sandy Spring for a private helicopter landing pad, he hasn’t installed one out of respect for the earth. “Look, it is on all of us to ensure that MoCo stays green, which is why I have foregone the heli-pad and installed a custom, private pickleball court instead. It was just the equitable thing to do.”
But there was disagreement on the County Council, as noted “swiftie” CM Evan Glass said he would oppose the effort. “Look, I like tax hikes, but let’s save those for the hoi polloi and the property owners in MoCo, OK? Taylor is a massive success and a sometimes-Democrat party promoter… she doesn’t deserve an extra tax for crossing miles above us on her way to DC or NYC for a concert.”
Mr. Glass added that he is thrilled to be co-sponsoring legislation that would play Taylor Swift’s music at cross-walk signal boxes across the county. CM Laurie-Anne Sayles countered with a proposal to play both Taylor Swift and Megan Thee Stallion hits at each county cross walk box.
The “Tay Tay Carbon Tax” measure was scheduled to be discussed further by the Council in the weeks ahead.
YES THIS POST IS PARODY — Stay tuned for the next CleanSlateMoCo Onion edition storyline. Until then – use your gas-powered leaf and debris blower freely, comrade!
