Planned events to commemorate the day and Council signing of the unofficial, useless declaration, post Nov. 5th, include either a group hug, a sing-along and karaoke featuring County Executive Marc Elrich, or the rendering of garments and televised wailing and moaning for five minutes. There was also a discussion about a walk-out of the Council on Nov 6th, but it was agreed that many MoCo residents would welcome less County Council “legislating” and work anyways, so the performative stunt was nixed in favor of other ideas.
More is TBD as events and election results unfold.
“We aren’t sure which way the [presidential] election will go, but we’re sure it’ll either be a day of extreme joy or extreme fear, anger, and sadness,” commented CM Evan Glass. “I am personally prepping for the outcome with some Chardonnay and extra wheels of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese, imported from Italy of course. You just can’t be too prepared these days. Either way, I’m having a party. At my second condo, not the primary residence.”
When asked if his policy ideas might change, pending the outcome of the national election, CM Glass was confident nothing would need to change. “No, look, regressive policy is here to stay in MoCo. We believe in a culture of regressive, heavy-handed taxation and nanny state fees and top-down governance from a select few. It doesn’t need to change. People don’t vote based on policy, anyways. We proved that with nomination of our awesome current Vice President.”
“Look if a certain former President becomes the new President once again, that’s the curtain call on democracy until the next election in four years,” stated, without hesitation, CM Kristin Mink. “If the election doesn’t go the way I demand it to go, then the least we can do is show solidarity with comrades by rendering our garments and televising our collective moaning for five plus minutes. I also think we would need a moment of silence to last at least six minutes. And you can bet your bottom dollar I am going to be organizing like the raging pro-state, pro-big government nanny state lover I am.”
But CM Will Jawando, while sympathetic to the useless declaration, was simply ready to move on – to the County Exec race of 2026.
“It is well known that I have my eyes on pow – err – the people’s executive seat in MoCo. I will formally be declaring my intention to seek the County Executive office in 2026 come November 6th, 2024. It is time to move MoCo forward. We aren’t going back, haha, to borrow a witty campaign slogan.”
YES THIS POST IS PARODY, ALTHOUGH TOO CLOSE TO REALITY — Stay tuned for the next CleanSlateMoCo Onion edition storyline. Until then – stay awake, comrades!
Related posts:
Seeds of Stagnation & Decline: County Executive Marc Elrich’s Early Years in Government
People, Even “Labor Democrats”, Are Slowly Waking Up to the Consequences of Ideologues in Power in Montgomery County
Economic Storm Clouds Are Gathering, But the Montgomery County Council Seems Pre-Occupied with Other (National) Topics