After being called an extremist group by Rockville Council Member Barry Jackson, the local Moco chapter of Moms for Liberty extended an invite to meet over coffee. Jackson has not publicly responded to the invite but we were able to get some of his thoughts on the situation.
Barry started, “Look, I don’t know which mom runs that account or which mom I would be meeting, but let’s be honest – have you seen the Moms for Liberty events?” He then lowered his voice and whispered, “They are hot. It’s not like a march in Takoma Park to bring tampons to the men’s room at Jersey Mikes, the Moms For Liberty bunch can seduce you.”
Barry then went on to tell a story of how in a moment of fraternity boy relapse he almost agreed to kill the environment in MoCo and support bringing back gas powered leaf blowers. “Look I am not perfect. Sometimes I am even a knucklehead, most often though when the individual makes me nervous like a 9th grader the week before homecoming.”
He continued, “I thought that maybe if I wear my Moms Demand Action shirt, dig out all of my flag pins, and find the pink pussy hat my wife knitted me for the march on DC, I could probably walk into Starbucks and be ok”
I asked him if that had worked in the past. He shrugged. “I have never tried it against the powers of Moms for Liberty….thats a whole new level of combat.”
“Look at the end of the day I can’t risk happening to agree on some points of policy with someone that is LITERALLY Hitler. I know my weaknesses. I simply can’t take that chance.”
Well done Barry, well done.
*clearly this article is satire as we too are too damn hot for Barry to meet with
